Monday, May 2, 2016

25 weeks pregnant Open and Exposed

25 weeks pregnant!! more then half way to the end. This pregnancy is flying bye...  i'm not ready AT ALL! When they say every pregnacy is different, they weren't lieing. Every single one of mine has been unique in there own way. I have to say that by FAR this one has been the most emotionally challenging one. I have so many thoughts of somthing going wrong. Feeling like this is way too good to be true!! Wondering if I can even do it... kinda feels like I have never done this before!! (Hahaha) I know right I should have this down. Truth is I don't feel like I do. I know it's the hormones talking. I GOT THIS! 
But I can't help to feel scared! And Anxious! I keep trying to stay focused on the positive. At the end of this journey I'll get to meet this beautiful baby that's been very gently kicking me. As if she knows that mama needs a break. If there's anyone who truly knows how I feel is her I guess. She knows I feel overwhelmed and sad at times. A bit lonely and scared. Sometimes when I'm about to lose it, out of nowhere I get this small reminder, a little feeling that everything will be okay. I like to think it's the baby.. reminding me that I can't give up. I have to be strong even when I'm scared. I have to get ready even if I'm not. If there's one thing I'v learned is that being pregnant brings out the worst and the best in you. Its more then just gaining some weight and delivering. Its about the journey... it teaches you so much about yourself. It challenges you at times and it makes you feel things.. I mean REALLY feel them. Its kinda like your heart and soul is raw... open and exposed.