Thursday, April 14, 2016

It's been a while

 Its been a while... Iam so sorry for my absence here. I miss this place so much. Lately its been so hard to find time to do basically anything. It's been pretty crazy. Iv had some major changes in my life. This last couple of months I have basically been trying to take  ahold of my situation. Trying to find some type of routine and adjust as much as possible to all this new responsibilities. My husband has been gone on deployment for about four months now and that hasn't been easy. I mean seriously its been tough. Leading up to his deployment i was pretty confident that I had things covered, I knew it was gonna be hard but never this hard! Its not our first time apart, but this time is different. I started missing him as soon as he left!! The kids had an immediate reaction to it, lots of crying and mood swings. The whole first month was really hard to sleep through. I had major insomnia and nightmares! Iv been in battle with time and stress to get everything done. Feeling super overwhelmed with  presures I put on myself to be a good mom and having the house clean is seriously making me lose my mind.                                               

      Kinda funny how I thought I would have everything under control without my husband around to help. Its feeling like he did a lot more then what I gave him credit for. Seperations are not only hard but also a big eye opener. Iv been despretly needing those tight hugs and wet kisses he gave me. Im seriously missing my coffee partner. I try to keep myself and the kids busy hoping time goes by fast. I have to admit I've had a couple of rough days! I raised my voice a little to loud  and not showed the best attitude about certain situations. I've gone to bed feeling like a terrible person. I know that this is only temporary and soon everything will be okay. Trying to focus on the things that matter and not letting the insignificant things ruine my day like the mountains of laudary I have. I swear if I go missing its because iam barried underneith all that dirty laudary i just can't seem to get around to.                                           Its really important for me to stay positive and find ways to not lose that peace i crave in my heart. Its been tough latley VERY tough. But things are getting better, to start i found some time to jump on here and write. And honestly it feels good! My plan is to keep going and BREATH. Not to mention this blogs name is Never Give Up. And that's what I attempte to do. 

       I must remember why I started, and that's to reach out and incourage others. But Somtimes I find myself being the one needing the encouragement. And that's basically what iv been doing... I've been serching for life's push.  listening to alot of music. Looking at old pictures. Having long conversations with my God. I've had many many cries of frustration. There's been alot of cleaning, that goes unnoticed. I sit and strech and take a couple of deep breaths when ever I get the chance. I've been paying closer attention to the simple things in my life.  I find my encouragement in my kids... and the plans I have for the future. My dreams keep me focused. I'm just a young mom going through life with fears and dreams and lots of faith. Hoping that everything I do won't  go unnoticed. I try very hard to keep my kids happy, but I know that in order to raise happy children a mother must be happy herself. So here's to a happy life and never given up! No matter how hard times get.