25 weeks pregnant Open and Exposed

25 weeks pregnant!! more then half way to the end. This pregnancy is flying bye...  i'm not ready AT ALL! When they say every pregnacy is different, they weren't lieing. Every single one of mine has been unique in there own way. I have to say that by FAR this one has been the most emotionally challenging one. I have so many thoughts of somthing going wrong. Feeling like this is way too good to be true!! Wondering if I can even do it... kinda feels like I have never done this before!! (Hahaha) I know right I should have this down. Truth is I don't feel like I do. I know it's the hormones talking. I GOT THIS! 

But I can't help to feel scared! And Anxious! I keep trying to stay focused on the positive. At the end of this journey I'll get to meet this beautiful baby that's been very gently kicking me. As if she knows that mama needs a break. If there's anyone who truly knows how I feel is her I guess. She knows I feel overwhelmed and sad at times. A bit lonely and scared. Sometimes when I'm about to lose it, out of nowhere I get this small reminder, a little feeling that everything will be okay. I like to think it's the baby.. reminding me that I can't give up. I have to be strong even when I'm scared. I have to get ready even if I'm not. If there's one thing I'v learned is that being pregnant brings out the worst and the best in you. Its more then just gaining some weight and delivering. Its about the journey... it teaches you so much about yourself. It challenges you at times and it makes you feel things.. I mean REALLY feel them. Its kinda like your heart and soul is raw... open and exposed.

A self reminder of what kind of mother I wanna be

3 more months

And Maya will officially be a big sister!

I can't wait to see how that goes

Maya is very much obsessed with mommy

So this is gonna get interesting

A mom of four! 

A MOM OF FOUR!!!!

Seriously!

I still can't believe it...

I can't believe the amount of love I feel inside 

And worry....

I worry I will fail them

Or I won't give them equal time

A mom can only hope and pray

That God will give her the strength

I believe a daily reminder to self 

Of what kind of mother you wanna be helps

A mother that loves

Listens

Incourages

Lifts 

Laughs

And plays

♡

Never Give Up 

Luz

It's been a while

 Its been a while... Iam so sorry for my absence here. I miss this place so much. Lately its been so hard to find time to do basically anything. It's been pretty crazy. Iv had some major changes in my life. This last couple of months I have basically been trying to take  ahold of my situation. Trying to find some type of routine and adjust as much as possible to all this new responsibilities. My husband has been gone on deployment for about four months now and that hasn't been easy. I mean seriously its been tough. Leading up to his deployment i was pretty confident that I had things covered, I knew it was gonna be hard but never this hard! Its not our first time apart, but this time is different. I started missing him as soon as he left!! The kids had an immediate reaction to it, lots of crying and mood swings. The whole first month was really hard to sleep through. I had major insomnia and nightmares! Iv been in battle with time and stress to get everything done. Feeling super overwhelmed with  presures I put on myself to be a good mom and having the house clean is seriously making me lose my mind.                                               

      Kinda funny how I thought I would have everything under control without my husband around to help. Its feeling like he did a lot more then what I gave him credit for. Seperations are not only hard but also a big eye opener. Iv been despretly needing those tight hugs and wet kisses he gave me. Im seriously missing my coffee partner. I try to keep myself and the kids busy hoping time goes by fast. I have to admit I've had a couple of rough days! I raised my voice a little to loud  and not showed the best attitude about certain situations. I've gone to bed feeling like a terrible person. I know that this is only temporary and soon everything will be okay. Trying to focus on the things that matter and not letting the insignificant things ruine my day like the mountains of laudary I have. I swear if I go missing its because iam barried underneith all that dirty laudary i just can't seem to get around to.                                           Its really important for me to stay positive and find ways to not lose that peace i crave in my heart. Its been tough latley VERY tough. But things are getting better, to start i found some time to jump on here and write. And honestly it feels good! My plan is to keep going and BREATH. Not to mention this blogs name is Never Give Up. And that's what I attempte to do. 

       I must remember why I started, and that's to reach out and incourage others. But Somtimes I find myself being the one needing the encouragement. And that's basically what iv been doing... I've been serching for life's push.  listening to alot of music. Looking at old pictures. Having long conversations with my God. I've had many many cries of frustration. There's been alot of cleaning, that goes unnoticed. I sit and strech and take a couple of deep breaths when ever I get the chance. I've been paying closer attention to the simple things in my life.  I find my encouragement in my kids... and the plans I have for the future. My dreams keep me focused. I'm just a young mom going through life with fears and dreams and lots of faith. Hoping that everything I do won't  go unnoticed. I try very hard to keep my kids happy, but I know that in order to raise happy children a mother must be happy herself. So here's to a happy life and never given up! No matter how hard times get.

Luz♡

Yess! I'm pregnant

Yess baby number four is on its way!! And it was NO accident!! My husband and I were activily trying to get pregnant before his deployment. Many thought i was crazy for trying because that meant i was gonna be at home with a five and seven year old. Plus baby Maya is only a few mounths old and dealing with a pregnacy all at he same time seemed crazy. Truth is I was in such a motherhood high after I gave birth to Maya that i got swept up in the idea of having more kids! I love being a mom and the whole pregnacy part well i quite enjoy that too! I really didn't think about it too much before we started trying.. sure enough it happened!  And I couldnt have been more happy!! I remember I was holding baby Maya in my arms while pasing back and forth waiting for the pregnancy test to show the result. I was home alone with Baby Maya. I was in such a hurry to find out that i didnt wait to take the test with my husband, he was still at work. And there it was... it was positive!!!!!!!!! I cryed right away. I was not expecting to cry but there i was crying of happiness and kissing baby Maya! First thing I did was i got on my knees and thanked my Lord. I got straight on my knees with out even thinking... witch makes me feel really emotional as im writing this. I knew i wanted to be a mom once again but I didn't quite know how badly I really wanted it till that moment. I was so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. I cant believe that Im given this amaizing blessing once again.
I quickly shared the news with my husband and kids and they were super happy. Our family is growing and its an amazing feeling. So here we are... Im 22 weeks pregnant due in August. Dads been delpoyed for 4 months now. Baby Maya is 10 months growing up way too fast. Rebeka and Alosno are running around yelling and screaming! Being crazy kids. It hasn't been easy, thats for sure. Iv had my moments were I wonder if I'll be able to handle what's coming. This hormones are really getting to me. I find myself crying for the littlest things. 
  And I really really miss my husband! It sucks that his missing the whole thing. I send him lots if pictures and videos trying to keep him involved as much as i can. I have to embrace what's happening. Iam so blessed and very grateful for my life! Being a mom is by far the best part of my life. And as hard as it does get.... I am very fortunate to be able to stay at home to raise  the kids. 

Luzz ♡
     

Maya is six months

I WANNA EAT HER!

She is the cutest most sweetest baby girl

Loves pretty much everyone and anything

Goes crazy when mommy sings to her

Very independent. . Holds her bottle 

Wants to drink from a cup

Trying to crawl  

we started feeding her some fruits 

This past six months have been some of the best months of my life

I love waking up to her 

And pretty much being together every second of our day. 

She's been teething since she was two months but still no teeth!!! 

Last Doc appointment baby girl weigh in at 22lb!!! 

If you read Maya five months post you read I began teaching her the sign language  for milk. 

And it's a totall success! !!!!!

She recognizes it and knows exactly what it means ! 

Five of my favorite things to do with Maya

*taking pictures of course!!!

*I enjoy napping with her I purposely let her breath on my face cause I love that milk breath

*Every morning I put music on and I dance with her in my arms for a good thirty minutes 

And she smiles the entire time 

*I really enjoy talking to her! I find myself going on and on about life to her. And I feel no judgment, she just stares at me with those beautiful eyes

*Making her laugh, acting like a bunny works everytime 

Alonso turned seven

You show me what unconditional love is

And put my patience to the test

Your the boy who changed my life and still to this day gives me the strength to keep moving foward

 I am faithful because of you  

And because of you I have learned that being different is not a bad thing. 

I'm so blessed to have you 

I Celebrate your differences and encourage your quirky-ness 

I will forever have your back 

No matter what 

I will always be here.

I admire your honestly and your ability to forgive 

I hope you grow up and become a man of your word

I hope you stay humble 

And LOUD

As you get older and things change 

Remember one thing never will and that's my love.

Love mom 

I'm Thankful

This year has been one of the most life changing so far.. so of course this thanksgiving is really special. I'm so thankful for my family my husband and children. I feel so much peace and love in my heart. I'm thankful for my mistakes and struggles. The material things come and go some get lost and broken, and at the end of our life's we don't take anything with us. So for me they are not too important. What is important is the laughs I share with my kids, the the peace in my heart when I go to bed. I'm thankful for those morning with baby Maya. Thankful for being able to help my kids with homework. And of course my husband's sens of hummor. Thankful for my parents hugs and advise. I'm thankful for everything money can't buy.

There is always somthing to be thankful for... no matter who you are or where you are. I hope everyone had am amazing thanksgiving, filled with family and love. Remember that everyone has hard times and we all go through things that brings our spirits down.. and if your struggling or going through somthing, know that you can get through it and make it better. Be happy and thankful your alive and take advantage of every breath. And never waste your time on things that hurt you, or go against the person you wanna be. Somtimes  you have to say no to things that keep you from growing as a person. Stay true to your heart. Happy thanksgivin
Love you all

Luz.